You don't have to be intentionally stupid. You don't have to ignore reality, and ignore facts, just so you can refuse to change your mind. You don't have to parrot patently false information, because you heard it from someone that hates the same people you do.
You don't have to hate someone you disagree with. You don't even have to dislike someone you disagree with. You don't have to be an ass in every encounter you have with anyone. In fact, you can actually like most, the people you disagree with most, because they challenge you and they make you grow.
You don't have to shout anyone down. If you whisper the truth, it remains the truth. If you scream the lies, they remain lies. Volume does not mean veracity. Right is right and wrong is wrong. Yet, you alone get to decide how you treat others, you alone get to decide how you respond.
I don't know of an un-blunt way to say this, but you don't have to be bigoted. You just don't. You don't have to assume Hispanics are illegals. You don't have to assume that young black men are thugs. You don't have to be afraid that whatever indefinable quality you claim to be 'Merican, will not be true still, because the racial balance in the nation changes from what it was 20 years ago, or 20 minutes ago. Because it has changed continually through 240 years, and will continue as long as the Lord sees fit to allow the USofA to exist.
You, also, do not have to embody every stereotype, just to keep it real. You can pull your damn pants up to your waist and wear a belt. You can speak English that is understandable to other English speakers. You can look for a partner in child rearing that can be a father or mother, not a baby daddy or baby mommy. You could be horrified to be referred to as one of those. You could interact with the world in a "normal" manner, it does not make you less you. It just makes you more employable, more understandable and more likely to make your way unaided in this world.
You don't have to decide issues immediately. You could take time to get information and consider your decision. Simply because it has the backing of the NRA, or the Southern Law Center, or the ACLU or the John Birch Society, does not mean that you have to agree with it. You can form your own opinion, based on your own determination. It is your mind, no one else should control it for you.
You don't have to condemn someone because their beliefs are different than yours. I do not believe in all the same things as many of my closest friends from church. We are all still Christian. But we do not all take the same view of every position. We owe that same assumption to those of the Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist faith. We also do not have the requirement to actively work to prevent others from practicing their faith. People are Satanists. It terrifies me, for their souls and hope. But, it does not weaken my faith, attack my faith or change my faith. Only I can do that, and I should not make it so that others are punished for practicing the same right I enjoy, just because it does not match my faith.
You don't have to be offended at anything. You also do not automatically agree with something if you do not condemn it in the harshest terms possible, as publicly as possible, as quickly as possible. You are the only one that controls being offended. If you decide you are not offended, it is okay. If you decide you are offended, make it for something done to someone else. Offense is one of those things that is always more legitimate, if you feel it for others and not yourself.
You don't have to be angry, to be engaged. In fact, everyone around you is probably going to be much more willing to be engaged with you, if you control the anger. This is a hard one for me, and I struggle with it daily. But, just because it is difficult for me personally, doesn't make it any less true.
You don't have to be right. Sometimes, you are going to be wrong. Sometimes, you are going to be extremely wrong. Own it. It makes it so much more effective when you are convincingly right, if you have demonstrated the willingness to acknowledge errors. It is called authenticity, and it can only be displayed and earned, it really can't ever be repaired.
You don't have to be anything by choice. But the reality is that you have to be something. If you don't choose what that something is, and work for it and live to it, you can't really achieve anything lasting. The truth is that no one else will ever see the real you, they will always see you through their prism, their preconceived notions. So, if you do not choose a legitimate you to be, the only person that can know the real you, never meets the person they were destined to see. Because when you look in the mirror, if you see a reflections of everyone else in your life, you have not made a choice for yourself. If you look in the mirror, and recognize the person, and the flaws, you chose and you chose well.
GLYASDI
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