Thursday, June 30, 2016

Yall Stop It, I Mean It

Yall are putting some mess out that is just flooding my Facebook feed.  I might not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I am not a blunt instrument.  I understand Foolishness, Shenanigans, Lunacy, Irony, and Sarcasm.  I am conversant in all those dialects, and fluent in some, like Sarcasm.

But, the level of Dipshit has gotten out of hand.  Let me give some examples:

I have been inundated (flooded) with this stream of memes and "funny" Second Amendment crap, for weeks, since the shooting in Orlando.  Before that it was just a steady trickle.  All somehow convinced that somehow, someway Obama in his few months left was going to succeed in the Emperor Palpatine move of confiscating every gun in the United States, and all the ammunition.  If I saw one, I saw fifty clickbait titles for "news" articles as to how Obama was using the terrorists to destroy the Second Amendment.  The weak willed have an infinite capacity for hyperbole.

In the midst of that, is the normal steady trickle about having to have "legal" ID to vote.  Now, in the interest of full disclosure, I am an advocate of showing ID to vote.  I have to show ID to buy alcohol, and supposedly the fate of our country is a bit more important than whether or not I can scarf some Boone's Farm.  However, if you are reposting junk about requiring ID to vote, and then even more junk about no infringement of the Second Amendment, the school system did you way wrong, or you were high as hell on the day the teacher talked about the Fifteenth Amendment.

See there are more than two Amendments to the Constitution.  We are all the way up to twenty seven.  Screw it, I am going to violate a "protocol" as I am tired of typing out numbers, I am going to mix and match.  27 is the grand total.  The one numbered 15, declares that the right to vote shall not be infringed based on color, or past condition of servitude.

So, let me connect the dots.  We cannot in any way, in any sense, cause any inconvenience in purchasing the latest arms you wish to buy.  But, it is way cool to put restrictions on who can vote, based on whether or not they have ID, knowing, and having been proven, that it disproportionately affects people of color, IN EVERY CONGRESSIONAL DISTRICT.  We got no issues with this.

Again, I am a proponent of having an ID to present before voting.  Mostly because if you are not competent enough to get your narrow butt (or wide if you are like me), to the DMV and prove you are a living adult, I don't want you getting toted to the polls and pulling a lever for anyone.  I think that is only prudent, and I should not be subjected to the DMV, and others not, and enjoy the same prerogatives and rights I have.  It aint fair, that ought to get the Millenials on board.

So, using that logic, and agreeing with most of the rabid Breitbart crowd on this restriction, I am utterly lost as to the issue with causing a restriction on buying military style weapons, or requiring registration or background checks for purchase of said weapon of war.  (Oh, I have a silver star on my Good Conduct Medal which mean 6 awards, so I do know a thing or two about weapons, besides being born and growed up redneck as hell.)

The two don't go together, and it is a common side effect of listening to Rush Limbaugh and Glenn "Looney Tunes" Beck.  It is like dropping too much acid, eventually you just have to accept that the pink zombies dancing with the trees aren't going to go away.  So, you just are stuck being unable to apply logic or common sense or ignore your hatred to allow you to analyze an issue.

Speaking of Orlando, did you know that before that gay guy pretended to be a terrorist, to cover shooting people because he was so conflicted about being gay himself, that gay people were sometimes given the business in our country?  Of course you did.  Most of you that will read this, will kind of sorta remember the name Matthew Shepherd.  He was a kid beaten and killed and strung up on a fence out in the God forsaken wastes of the Mid Mountain West.  Some unbelievable crap hole like Wyoming or Idaho.

It is unknown, exactly, what particular pebble of hatred inbred into the perpetrators of the murder tipped the scales and caused them to take this kid from the middle of nowhere out into the heart of nowhere, and brutalize him the same way ISIS does people.  If any building in that part of the country rose over 2 stories, they might have pushed him off the roof, like in the videos you wished they would show in entirety on Fox News.  (I said Fox and News together, get it, Sarcasm, see I am fluent.)

But, the poor kid became something of a touchstone.  I cannot say that it worked much, because the life of the "different" in America is not all that different.  I guess you could say we have gay marriage, but we make it legal to prevent them from buying groceries or other services unless they completely renounce the GAY.  I don't know how you record that renouncement so that you can again be a full member of society, I think they left that out of the bathroom bill.  What, you mean 18 years after we tortured a kid in Wyoming, we still have enough ignorance as a whole to pass a law about what bathroom you can use?

It does not pass the Founder test people.  George Washington and his homies did not put this in their Constitutions thingy.  For some reason, they did not prohibit, nor did they comment on the question of the GAY.  They were misogynist, racist assholes, but even they didn't go that far.  And, according to the 2nd Amendment gospel, if it aint in there, it aint real.  So everyone that if for full armament of infants and the potential arming of German Shepherds and Daschunds, you better start protesting and threatening to shoot everyone for the Bathroom Law.  What they hell were they thinking, telling you what room you can use to piss in.  Next thing you know, they will try to stop you from buying a M1 Abrams when you win the lottery.  Sumbitches.

It is kind of crazy out there right now people.  It get it.  This is a time that pits the most corrupt and despicable candidate for President we have seen since the Grant Administration (also important to the 15th Amendment, pay attention people).  And we managed to find the only other American rich enough and crazy enough to make enough people vote for a person they all admit has a streak of larceny that is infinitely wide compared to her streak of truth.

It is cray cray.  I have no explanation for it.  But, if you don't mind, think it out.  Just because it is in your newsfeed on Facebook, does not make it true.  I know, I know, that is a bold statement.  I can only say that if you trust me on this, and you actually look into what you read before you post it, not only do you get to continue believing what you want, you can find some things called facts and truth, to back up that opinion.  A fact or a truth is an old school Americanism for the foundation of what we believe in.  They don't involve Twitter feeds or Instagram, so most of you are probably unfamiliar with them.  But, they exist.  No, not like Harry Potter is real, this is like Jason Bourne is real.  Honest.

See, some of what I said here was actually Sarcasm.  I leave it to you to decipher.  If it becomes to difficult, just ask, and I will help you through it.  But, only after you produce a legal ID that is stamped by the NRA.  I don't want to waste my time with no illegal Mexican Muslims that just lay around and take up the Welfare from the rest of the people that are not minorities that need it to survive.  If you are one of them, email the President.  In between covert gun removal planning and praying 53 times a day to Mecca, he is happy to provide contact information for Sharpton's School of Scumbags.

Have a wicked day out there, if you can't figure out how to have a straight one!

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